+1 month in!

Wow, time flies when you’re having fun!

Okay, I can’t lie.  It hasn’t been all fun.  In fact, my selfishness has never been so out in the open as it has been since we’ve been married.  Our true colours are shining through.  Not that we didn’t see each others flaws during the dating/engaged stages of our relationship, but wow — living together, and being together every single day — will inevitably show you all truths of who you really are.

If you’re part of my generation, you’ve most likely seen the movie ‘The Neverending Story’ (and if you haven’t, please do so! You won’t be disappointed!).  While talking with a special friend about the first year of marriage recently, a scene from that movie came into my mind.  When Atreyu gets to one of the gates, that he must pass in order to succeed in his mission — the gate that is the mirror, that shows men their true selves.  In the movie, it is told that most men run away screaming, terrified of their horrible selfish nature.  I won’t give away what happens to Atreyu… but this image resonated with me when it comes to being newly married.

It’s like looking into this mirror.  You can either accept what you see, and take the necessary steps to start making changes in your behaviour in order to benefit someone other than yourself, or you can run away, screaming (aka, blame someone other than yourself).

David and I have an interesting arrangement, as he mostly works from home, and when I am not flying, I’m home too.  So since I’ve been off work until recently, we have been home together, every day and night.  Let’s just say we’re learning a lot about each other!

The most amazing thing though, is realizing how much we truly love each other.  How much we’re willing to sacrifice, and give up for the sake of the other.  How imperfect we are, and how badly we need God in our lives and marriage.

I am thankful for that.

I learned recently, that God didn’t design marriage to make you happy, rather He designed marriage to make you Holy.  I really liked that.  If you break it down, it means that marriage is designed to make you depend more on Him and build your relationship with Him, because you won’t be able to be rid of all of your selfishness just on your own (and if you can, well, kudos to you! But I sure can’t!).  Now this doesn’t mean that you can’t have a happy marriage, it means that if you seek Him first, happiness will filter through after the fact.  When you seek God, your desire to be like Him inevitably grows, and therefore your desire to serve grows.  The more you serve, the happier you’ll be (well, that’s what I’m going with for now at least!).  Personally, from my small amount of experience, when I am serving my husband, he responds with a great amount of love for me.  Why wouldn’t I want that?

I am happy to be in a position where my character is being challenged daily.  If my character isn’t growing, then as far as I see it, my life isn’t going anywhere soon.

All in all, I really have nothing to complain about.  I am blessed with an amazingly generous, loving and forgiving husband, a steady job (that I enjoy!), and a beautiful house to call our home.  Our families love and care for us, and we have the freedom to choose our futures.

Our future is beautiful.